


the tears will fade with time

by shatteredsunlight



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Difficult Decisions, F/F, it's some space gfs making hard decisions to support their friends what else do you need to know, kind of hurt-comforty idk, no beta we die like philippa (prime)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29293470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shatteredsunlight/pseuds/shatteredsunlight
Summary: how Keyla and Joann made the decision to go with Michael into the future
Relationships: Keyla Detmer/Joann Owosekun
Comments: 15
Kudos: 20





	the tears will fade with time

**Author's Note:**

> there are only 60 jola fics on this site and that is a goddamn tragedy so here is my contribution to the tag :)

When Tilly comes to them, Keyla is already doubting herself. 

Is this really the right decision? Should they really be letting Mich ael take Discovery to the future? What if something goes wrong?  _ Is this the right thing to do? _

There isn’t nearly enough time to be worrying like this, not with everything practically falling apart and the chaos surrounding them but somehow she manages to, the anxiety coursing through her and making her question every little move she makes. Joann is there next to her the entire time, her reassuring presence making it just a tiny bit more bearable, the ability to look over and see Jo by her side lifting the anxiety a little. Not enough, though, to stop her from feeling like the world is shattering. 

And then Tilly bounces into the room (there’s no other way to describe it, something about Tilly just radiates bouncy, bubbly energy, even when she’s under an amount of pressure that no human being should ever have to endure) a look on her face that can only be described as indescribable, a perfect mix of so many emotions Keyla feels like she’s going to drown in them. 

“I’m staying with the ship,” she says bluntly. Keyla only has a second to absorb the impact of her words before she goes on rambling just like she always does. “And uh, I guess, so, I guess this is probably goodbye since, well, you’re not going to live for another nine centuries or however far we’re going, uh, and I guess you could stay too with the rest of us but I don’t want to assume anything but—”

“Slow down,” Joann interrupts her, and Tilly nods and takes a breath.

“Um, so, me and some other people have decided to stay with the ship and go into the future with Michael, and so if you want to come you can, but, uh, if not we’re not going to see each other so I wanted to say goodbye.”

“You’re...staying?” Keyla asks, still having barely absorbed the information.

Tilly nods. “Yeah, so...” she opens her arms for a hug, and Keyla accepts it, still trying to process everything Tilly said. She could stay with Discovery? That’s really a possibility?

“I—I really loved getting to know you guys, and I’m going to miss you if you don’t end up coming,” Tilly says—oh god, is she crying now? Honestly, though, Keyla kind of wants to do the same thing—and then nods. “Yeah, so um, goodbye. I mean, if you don’t come, of course. If you want to stay though you can find me and tell me. But. Yeah. Goodbye, I love you guys. Uh. Sorry, I really hate goodbyes, I need to get back to work.” 

Neither Joann nor Keyla has time to respond before Tilly rushes off. A silence somehow worms its way through the chaos, both women lost in thought. They turn to each other at the same time.

“What should we—”

“I don’t want to leave Discovery.” 

The words tumble out of Keyla’s mouth before she can stop them, and the sudden clarity the realization gives her is almost overwhelming. There’s a pause, a moment where there’s a clearing and Keyla just might understand it all, and then all the emotions from the past few days decide that it's the right moment to come crashing down on her.

There are tears are pooling in her eyes all of a sudden, and she wipes them away, taking a long, shuddery breath. “I can’t leave Discovery. I can’t—”  _ I can’t lose another ship,  _ she wants to say, but it just sounds so  _ silly _ because it isn’t worth it, is it, to give up her life and her family and every goddamn thing she’s ever known just so she doesn’t have to say goodbye to a big hunk of metal. 

But it isn’t just a piece of metal. 

It’s her home. It’s full to the brim with memories, full of small moments, full of the times she laughed with the rest of the bridge crew and smiled at Joann and late nights working so she didn’t have to sleep and waking up screaming anyways and early mornings and long shifts that never ended but then they did because everything does and crying late at night and falling in love. Just like the Shenzhou was, and she lost that, lost those memories, lost the ability to remember without blood staining the edges and making recollection painful. 

And she can’t do that again. 

Not again.

Never again. 

“I want to stay,” she repeats. 

Joann is silent.

She just looks at Keyla and fuck fuck fuck her face is completely unreadable. 

“Are you sure?” 

Keyla swallows thickly, and oh god she’s really crying now, and she looks down and nods again and  _ what if Joann doesn't want to go. _

“So you’re staying?” 

Keyla breathes in, then out, then looks up again.  _ No.  _ “Not if you don’t. Wherever you go, I’m right there beside you. I promise.” 

Joann brushes her hand under Keyla’s eye, wiping away the tears.

“I love you,” she whispers fiercely, and now they’re  _ both _ crying. 

“We’re kind of a mess, aren’t we,” Keyla chokes out through a strangled laugh, and Jo laughs too. 

“Now we just need to decide whether we’re going to fake our deaths and fly into the future using mushrooms,” Joann chuckles, and soon they’re both laughing and crying and just a complete mess and the moment would be perfect at any other time.

“You know what I want to do,” Keyla says after they’ve both stopped laughing, “but what do you want?” 

“I don’t know. Everything we’ve ever  _ known _ is here, but…”

“But,” Keyla agrees, and it’s that one word that has their entire lives hanging in the balance. 

“I think,” Joann says slowly, “I think we should go. I think it’s the right thing to do.”

“Are you sure?” 

“I think. Yes. Yes, I’m sure.”

“So we go.” 

Keyla nods. “We go.” 

And just like that, they’ve chosen their future.

(it’s uncertain, but at least they’ll be together)

(and that’s enough)

**Author's Note:**

> it's my first disco fic! a friend dragged me into it (you know _exactly_ who you are and if you cackle _one more time I swear to god_ ) and I fell hard for it (and then for jola lmao) and then I just kind of ended up here.  
> Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!


End file.
